The vows you exchange with your partner are probably the most important part of your wedding. When you make a declaration of love and commitment in front of guests and witnesses you want the words you use to be just perfect for this life-changing moment.

Today, there are so many options! You can choose to recite traditional vows, modify traditional vows with your own personal touch, or create your own vows to truly capture the individuality of your relationship. If you’re having a religious ceremony it is best to check whether there are any restrictions on creating your own vows.

How do I know what to say?

Sometimes it can be difficult to say exactly how you feel in just a handful of words. Asking yourself the following questions may help to get your brain and your heartstrings going.

When did you meet? How did you feel then?
When did you know that you were in love? How did it feel?
What have you learned from your loved one?
What qualities do you believe will keep your marriage strong? How will you accomplish that?
What is important in your relationship? E.g. trust, honesty, friendship
What do you want to promise to your partner?

Talk to each other

Before you begin composing the masterpiece that will be your vows, sit down and have a talk to your fiancé about the approach you want to take. This means that even if you don’t show each other your vows before the ceremony, you are less likely to be surprised on the day.

Length

It is best to keep your vows to 4 – 5 sentences, covering only the most important things. Long vows will lessen the significance of what you want to say. If you want to say more, leave the rest for the wedding reception!

Relevance

Don’t get carried away! Yes, there is a lot to love about your partner, but remember that the main purpose of your vows it to make a commitment.

No joking around!

Your wedding vows are probably the most serious commitment you’ll ever make. So, avoid inside jokes or humour for your audience, and create vows that carry the importance and solemnity that the occasion deserves.

Choice of words

Your vows do not have to be complicated or overly creative. This is the chance for you to express clearly and simply your commitment. Use words that reflect you and how you feel.

Practice your vows

Practicing your vows together will help to work out any kinks in private and enable you to feel more confident on the day. If you want to keep your vows a surprise, practice them solo, or better yet, ask a friend to listen to you.

Relax!

So, you’ve done all the preparation and now is the big moment! You only have one opportunity to say your vow and you want to get it right. Take a deep breath and when you begin to speak take your time to pronounce every word. Most importantly, enjoy the moment of making this most precious promise to your loved one.